The Things I Carry

My cousin June’s bag. It’s the backpack for the over 35 traveler – she said, which means it has wheels and a pullout handle but no shoulder straps.  It holds all I need for the next few months, including June’s love and wisdom.  She’s gone there and back again many times with this bag.  And so will I. 

2 peanut butter and guava jelly sandwiches

2 bags of trail mix

12 Luna bars

A single pair of shoes. 

Me:  I’m going to Asia for a few months and I’m only going to bring one pair of shoes. 

Shoe Store Gay Boy:  Gasp!  Why would you do that to yourself?!

Me:  I need a pair that are sturdy enough for the trail and cute enough for a night club.

SSGB:  Clasps hands Hmmmm… A challenge!

They’re Adidas, hardy, attractive and they match June’s bag.

Two outfits: Jeans and a shirt, shorts and a shirt, 4 pairs socks, 3 underwear.  Everything matches.  All dark colors to conceal dirt.  My ass looks great in everything. 

Rubber slippers that Mini bought for me in Brazil.  They aren’t my best pair of flip-flops, but saying goodbye to him was one of the hardest.  I wanted a memento of him with me.   

Joe Griss’s rain jacket.  It’s monsoon season here.   The jacket breathes and folds into the size of a tennis ball.  And I like the idea that Mini will be protecting my feet, and Joe will be protecting my head.

My mother’s worries and prayers

A brand new iPod.  Last week my iPod was stolen by a lesbian midget with Heidi-style braids.  Against my protestations, my friend Scott Hunt bought me a new one immediately.  On the back he inscribed, “Loss is just an opportunity for a new beginning.”  Which is a much better inscription than, “Beware of lesbian midgets with outdated hairstyles.”

Four bottles of wine

Sunglasses

Immodium.  Lots of immodium. 

Sleeping pills.  I have not slept regularly in the last two months.  It feels like my brain won’t shut down at night – even when I’m exhausted.  I hope that somewhere in the 7,000 islands of the Philippines, easy sleep is waiting for me. 

A woman’s name, listed as “mother” on a birth certificate.  The address where a good friend of mine was born.  A message if I find the woman.    

3 pairs of swimwear.  I may be roughing it, but I am damn well gonna look cute on the beach. 

Mosquito repellant

70 SPF sunscreen

A pen and a new journal.  Thanks Melanie and Vicki who advised me – Don’t get a new job yet.  Get the space and time and write, write, write.  You’ve only scratched the surface of your potential.

Chris’s camera.  I usually destroy one piece of his electronic equipment per trip.  We’ll see how I do this time. 

The well wishes and care of a hundred friends

The relief that the difficulty of the last year is behind me

Chris’s love and support.  His patience in dealing with me.  His understanding that sometimes I need to do things my own way.   His openness to putting our dreams on hold for a bit so that I can figure out what my dreams are right now.

A couple of ideas, but no real plans

A sense of possibility

A sense of humor

A sense of adventure