Maneuvering through Phnom Penh

Navigating the streets of Phnom Penh is both amusing and thrilling if you have time, patience and no attachment to your desired destination.  Visitors avail themselves to three modes of transportation - walking, motorbike taxi, and tuktuk.  This city is blessedly walkable, especially compared to the tangled Manila maze that I just came from.  Maybe its the French influence (the coffee rocks as well) as the streets are wide and inviting, often with fully completed sidewalks.  The major arteries through town such as Sihanouk and Monivang are huge boulevards with park-like walkways dividing left and right traffic.  Most shockingly for a Southeast Asian city, the streets have sequentially numbered names and are laid out in a grid.  Even numbers run north - south, odd numbers east - west.  Even though I have the navigational intelligence of a radish, I can't get lost for long since I can path by numbers toward my destination.  Its a gorgeous city for a stroll, particularly in the mornings and evenings when the heat has released it's choke hold.  Beautiful temples sprout with skyward reaching spires.  Flowers bloom.  Children play.

Two rivers - the Mekong and Tonle Sap - hold the city in their palms affording views of boats and fishing boys.  Colonial homes adorn the city streets like vintage jewels.  And although they are ubiquitous here, I always enjoy watching the monks go about their daily business.  Saffron, orange, red and copper robed men and boys tote umbrellas and books along the parks and promenades.

Phnom Pehn is easy to navigate unless, apparently, its your job to navigate it.  The moto and tuk tuk drivers are brilliantly inept at getting from A to B.  My guidebook says that moto trips in town should cost about 50 cents, but I can't seem to get them below a dollar (the national currency is the Riel, but U.S. dollars are accepted everywhere).  I announce my desired destination.  If the driver nods and says Yes, it means he has no idea where it is.  In this frequent case, I will get out my map and show him.  He will then stare at the map and repeat the name of a major street between 5 and a dozen times.

- Mao tse-toung boulevard?
- Yes, Mao tse-tuong.
- Ahhh.  Mao tse-toung!
- Yes.
- Mao tse-toung. Two Fifty.
- Yes 250th street.  Near Mao tse-tuong.
- Mao tse-TUONG!
- [blink.  blink.]
- Mao tse- tuong.
- Um, shall we go, then?

We'll set off in the general direction dodging traffic in a wonderfully fearful manner.  Traffic laws are implied suggestions here.  Motos will frequently drive on the wrong side of the road, barreling into oncoming traffic.  A red light means look before you go.  Right of way is accorded by the law of "size matters"  Buses and four wheel drives are the top predators of the Phnom Penh food chain.  They do what they want.  Cars come next, scissoring like sharks into schools of motos.  Motos and bicycles are the krill of the city streets with only the pathetic pedestrian to lord over.

My moto driver will inevitably become lost or stop to talk to a group of other drivers for directions.  Remember, the streets are NUMBERED; what could they possibly discuss?

- We are going to 250 street.  Where is that?
- Well, this is 240 - so maybe it's that way in the increasing street direction.
- Ah yes - increasing that way?  Like it does everywhere else in the city?
- Maybe.  At least it was that direction this morning.
- Mao tse-tuong?
- Yes, Mao tse-toung.
- Mao tse-TUONG?
- Yes, Mao TSE-tuong.
- Ah MAO tse-toung.

This will take five minutes.  We will attract four other moto drivers, two begging urchins and a woman selling chicken livers, "You know you'll be hours.  You should buy from me so you don't starve on the way."  When the conversation ends, we'll all have a good laugh and point and pat each other on the back before hightailing it in the wrong direction.

A week later, after stops in Bangkok, Battambang and Lansing, Michigan, we'll arrive at 250 and Mao tse-tuong, discovering to our delight that the intersection is still where the map says it is.  The driver will then try to renegotiate the price to compensate for the greater time and distance it took.

MAO TSE-TUONG!

Some photographs of the rivers and promenades in Phnom Penh.